Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
