she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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