who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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