Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
