i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
whose ass print is on the piano?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
