ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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