Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize