Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
