remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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