We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
