he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize