Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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