I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
