She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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