I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
