Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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