Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
