He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
