that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize