That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
