uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
