I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
