Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
