Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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