Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
