It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
