ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
