just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
