We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
