It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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