I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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