hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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