STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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