I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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