I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
