How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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