Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
