The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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