Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
