Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
