It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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