You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
how does that bad decision feel?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
