tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The uberlube is also flammable
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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