Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
