Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
