Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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