Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
