They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
