Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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