I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
