Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize