He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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