Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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