A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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