; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize