I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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