We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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