now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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