I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
