YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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