i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
