Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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