Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
