I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
