Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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